Monday, February 2, 2009

Here I sit...but why?

Here I am, at my computer, working away on my teacher work sample for the term. I am stressed, worn out, and flustered nearly every second of the day. Today was sunny and perfect, yet the only time I got to really enjoy it was when I was riding my bike to class. About, oh ......30 times a day at least, I question why on earth I thought it was a good idea to go back to school. I sit in class and daydream about going to the park and watching Thomas proudly go down the slide by himself. I love that Steven and I are able to manage our hectic schedules in a way that allows us to take care of Thomas ourselves, without having to involve any sort of daycare. I love that Thomas is always with his loving parents. But...I hate that I always feel distracted with homework and the stress of my program. What was I thinking? I am not necessarily fishing for words of sympathy, but maybe just a better outlook. All I can think is that, in the end, my children will know that I wanted to do something, and I worked hard in order to achieve my goals. They will know that their mommy wanted to be absolutely confident in her ability to show her children that education is important, and that hard work is good for the soul. I want my babies to know that whatever might happen, I will be able to provide for them. Is this why I was supposed to do this? Any thoughts?

1 comment:

Lindsay M said...

I have had the same thoughts! I took the semester off due to those thoughts. And even Adam has the same ones! And the thing that calms me down and helps me feel at peace when I am in school or to help Adam through a rough patch is that it will be over soon and then the time will have passed and why not have something to show for it? And you inspire others to go for what they want in life! :)